Lately, I've felt the need to share my thoughts and, sometimes, my emotions with a friend, a parent, hell--I'll even settle for a disciplined animal so as to not become overwhelmed or crazy. For twenty-three years my life has been simple, predictable, and safe. I graduated college with a Bachelor of Science degree in Secondary English Education. I have a wonderful boyfriend. I love to read. Within the last month, however, my life is spinning out of control.
My brother has been diagnosed with Wilson's Disease, a genetic disorder in which the liver cannot process excess copper from his body. After vials of blood drawn and a liver biopsy taken, I discovered I also have the disease. It seems so unreal to log on to Facebook and read status updates or watch the hilarity of Jim Parsons on Big Bang Theory--things I did before I was "sick." A year ago I was speaking with my practicum professor about lesson plans and K-W-L charts. Now, I'm speaking with a liver specialist about copper coagulant drugs and the cirrhosis of my liver.
I keep telling myself it could be worse. I could have cancer, I could be blind, I could lose the ability to think and live on my own. Luckily, the disease hasn't progressed that far, and I hope it never will. I just can't help looking at this disease, a disease that showed no symptoms, and think that this thing is harming me. It's hard to imagine mortality when you're young. Anytime I leave my house, my mom always reminds me I'm human and to be safe while driving, but no one thinks something can happen to you until it does. It did.
I don't want to be a burden to my loved ones. They have enough in their lives to handle. My brother has his own disease to maintain and my parents are beating themselves up about our diagnosis. We all have problems to deal with, so that's why I'm turning to this blog for help. I doubt anyone will read this, but it will be nice to let all my thoughts out. I'm starting this blog to keep track of my life, my thoughts, my disease, a snapshot of who I am. I hope it can serve as a teaching tool and that I read earlier postings with pride because I have come so far. I'm an optimist and a teacher--I believe everyone can learn something new for their greater good. Sue me.
